Adventures in Subbing

Being a teacher I used to daily come home with ridiculous stories of stuff my students said or did during the day. Usually I couldn't wait to share the hilariousness so I'd run next door to my partner in crime's room and give her the low down. Like when I asked a student to write down the date on her assignment she was handing in and she asked me, "What day is it? April 36th?" She was dead serious. Oh my.

Today I did a bit of subbing and had a fairly interesting day. The kids were all great, it was a great school but I just have to share some of the happenings of my day.

First off... elementary phys.ed is always a joy for me. I'm so not an elementary teacher... I'm just not compassionate enough.
Me: "O.K. class - 5 min of running, Go! If you walk I'll add a minute for everyone."
Girl: "I have a note about my ankle in my backpack - I can't run." (She just walked up to me with no limp but limps away to get her note :)

Girl can't find the note and I tell her to just try the running long jump for a bit. I put her on the pit farthest from me and spy her running and jumping with no hesitation. I rotate groups so she is on my pit and she is limping down the runway like a wounded soldier! ba ha ha.

Girl 2: "I got a sunburn on my back this weekend and so I don't think I can run."

Me: "Well, I guess you know your body best.. but maybe give it a try."

I leave for 20 seconds to check the time and come out to immediate tattle tales. In 20 seconds I was gone there was a fight over who was playing first base and one girl punched another in the stomach! Oi. They then begin to behave like the Real Housewives of Atlanta or something, screaming accusations at one another - wow!

At the end of class I count down from 5 to get them to hustle to the circle and then explain that anyone not there by 1 is doing push ups. A little girl looks at me with her hand on her hip and says "Like how old do you think we are?"
Um... seriously?

Then I'm teaching the same class after recess later in the day. I look around the room and at least 4 kids have ice packs on misc body parts because of "injuries" obtained during recess. Giggle.

I ask for volunteers to read from the handout and a little boy raises his hand. As I go to pass him the mic he picks his nose and eats it - right in front of me! I ask the class for hand sanitizer. Gross.

It makes me smile... kids are so funny :)


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